Dear readership,
I apologize for not having this post up sooner. As my father indicated, I'm having some problems with the Internet. I don't know what went wrong with us. It's more than it not being there for me when I need it, it's a lack of communication. I just ... I feel like the Internet has lost interest in what we have. We're going to counselling though. If all goes well, you should see things go back to normal.
I'm ready to admit that maybe I was wrong, Internet. I still love you.
- Olivia
Now back to our regularly scheduled post.
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I apologize for not having this post up sooner. As my father indicated, I'm having some problems with the Internet. I don't know what went wrong with us. It's more than it not being there for me when I need it, it's a lack of communication. I just ... I feel like the Internet has lost interest in what we have. We're going to counselling though. If all goes well, you should see things go back to normal.
I'm ready to admit that maybe I was wrong, Internet. I still love you.
- Olivia
Now back to our regularly scheduled post.
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Does it really need to be said that swallowing a sword will probably kill you? No.
The same could be said for rolling on hot coals or responding to those emails from rich Nigerians. Ok, maybe those won't kill you. But those things usually don't end well. And regardless of whether I'm speaking from experience, you know it's true.
The unspoken rule is probably not as mysterious as it sounds.
Unspoken rules come from unspoken facts. For example, we can assume that "Don't ride your bicycle at night down dark streets" is an unspoken rule because "You lack the capacity for natural night vision" is an unspoken fact. Unless you're Batman or some cave dwelling lizard-man hybrid, you can't see in the dark.
And you know this. I don't really need to tell you that you can't see in the dark. You discovered this around age four when you discovered that you could not determine the source of that terrifying sound in your room simply by looking for it.
But the catch to the unspoken rule, which in retrospect could also be called "common sense", is that people do need to be told not to do stupid things. And to do smart things.
Knowing unspoken rules is one's greatest shot of survival.
Which is why we end up having to speak them. If unspoken rules were so prevalent, we probably wouldn't need to post warnings on everything.
Caution! Avoid dropping air conditioner out windows.
Warning: Do not use hairdryer while sleeping.
When using an iron, make sure clothes are flat. Never iron clothes on a body.
Do not spray Windex in eyes.
Open packet to use Wetnap.
It's kind of sad, really.
So I suppose what we can conclude that the true unspoken rules are the ones that defy common sense and yet we are expected to know them.
Dating rules.
The rules that score the Olympics.
And some grammar rules.
It probably goes without saying that you, as the reader, probably knew all of this.
I apologize for the length and quality of this post, I had to re-write it four times due to the aforementioned internet problems.
Who picked this topic anyway?
The same could be said for rolling on hot coals or responding to those emails from rich Nigerians. Ok, maybe those won't kill you. But those things usually don't end well. And regardless of whether I'm speaking from experience, you know it's true.
The unspoken rule is probably not as mysterious as it sounds.
Unspoken rules come from unspoken facts. For example, we can assume that "Don't ride your bicycle at night down dark streets" is an unspoken rule because "You lack the capacity for natural night vision" is an unspoken fact. Unless you're Batman or some cave dwelling lizard-man hybrid, you can't see in the dark.
And you know this. I don't really need to tell you that you can't see in the dark. You discovered this around age four when you discovered that you could not determine the source of that terrifying sound in your room simply by looking for it.
But the catch to the unspoken rule, which in retrospect could also be called "common sense", is that people do need to be told not to do stupid things. And to do smart things.
Knowing unspoken rules is one's greatest shot of survival.
Which is why we end up having to speak them. If unspoken rules were so prevalent, we probably wouldn't need to post warnings on everything.
Caution! Avoid dropping air conditioner out windows.
Warning: Do not use hairdryer while sleeping.
When using an iron, make sure clothes are flat. Never iron clothes on a body.
Do not spray Windex in eyes.
Open packet to use Wetnap.
It's kind of sad, really.
So I suppose what we can conclude that the true unspoken rules are the ones that defy common sense and yet we are expected to know them.
Dating rules.
The rules that score the Olympics.
And some grammar rules.
It probably goes without saying that you, as the reader, probably knew all of this.
I apologize for the length and quality of this post, I had to re-write it four times due to the aforementioned internet problems.
Who picked this topic anyway?
Here's one of those rules you speak of, "hit the save button every few minutes."
ReplyDeleteA few of my other favorites:
If you empty the ice tray, fill it up.
If you made the mess, clean it up.
Don't wake your parents until 6:00 am on Christmas morning even if you haven't slept at all.
No one can be mad at you on your birthday.
Always tell your wife she looks nice when she asks. She already knows how she really looks.